“You’re Okay. You’re Okay. You’re Okay.”

Mother’s Day 2016

I woke up this morning at the LA Zoo with my daughter, the 10 other girls in her Brownie troop, and 3 other mothers. We had a troop sleepover at the zoo on Saturday night. Not a traditional start to a Mother’s Day, but even with a body sore from sleeping on a hard floor (yes I had a camping mat with me, no it didn’t help on a linoleum floor!) and being utterly exhausted it was a lovely way to start my day.

Meanwhile at home, my husband was attempting to coax our son into heading to church. Our son had agreed to acolyte today, and was supposed to be singing in the service with the youth ensemble. Neither of these things were new experiences, nor were they surprises to him, but neither one of these things seemed to be something he was capable of doing this morning. The closer they got to the church, the more anxiety he had. By the time they arrived, my husband had to physically remove our son from the truck. He got him as far as the chapel, before our son melted. Tears, hyperventilating, sweating. He was having a panic attack. My husband decided that the best course of action was to get our son out of there as fast as possible, and in his haste was not able to fully communicate what was happening to people at church.

Later in the day, I got a message from our son’s youth ensemble director that simply read, “Are you ok?” I have a feeling that our son’s sudden disappearance from church before the service even started, had not been explained to him. I filled him in on the events leading up to the disappearance. He knows what our son is struggling through and his response to me included everything I needed to hear…genuine empathy for what our son and family is going through and hopeful looking forward for the day it will be better. He also included a link to a song on YouTube that his wife had sung in church this morning. The song was originally written and performed by My Brightest Diamond for her newborn son, but the message is universal to parenting and especially meaningful to me in this season of motherhood. The line that continues to echo through my head today is simply, “you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” I am glad I was not in church to hear this performed today, because I undoubtedly would have been a mess. But I am filled with gratitude for the gift of that song.

Take a listen…I Have Never Loved Somebody by My Brightest Diamond

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