A few days back I had an epiphany of sorts….
You guys – it’s flat out brutal around here. The man child is an absolute wreck. The girl child is alternately hiding from the chaos in the house and inserting herself right into the middle. My husband has traveled for work more in the past month than he did in the previous 6 months combined. And my response to all of this has been a marked increase in usage of choice four letter words.
Yesterday I stopped myself at work one breath away from an expletive as my children were bickering right outside my office door (remember that my place of employment is a church!) This morning I extended my middle finger in the direction of my son’s bedroom when he was on minute 15 of refusing to get up and start the day. Just an hour ago when I hit an impasse with my son where he once again would not finish his missing school work, I sent a text to my husband (who is currently in Thailand) that was nothing more than F@*% six times in a row.
There are 8 school days left before summer break. Every day between now and then, I’ll wake up and try again to get my son to finish this year in a way that the healthy version of himself would want. I have no illusions that it is going to get easier, and it could likely get harder. I know that showing him we can get through the hard things, and loving him fiercely every step of the way is my most important job as him mother right now.
14 days from now we will be off the grid for some much needed family recuperation time. I’m hopeful I’ll come back from that time away well rested and using far fewer expletives. But until then…pardon my language, because parenting an adolescent living with anxiety and depression over the finish line of 7th grade is #%&*@$! exhausting!!!