Friday, December 17, 2020…4:14pm
The end of week 40. One week to Christmas. All I really want is a long winter’s nap. Or a silent night (heck, I’d settle for a silent day at this point in pandemic life).
We’re still not entirely sure what our holidays will look like. We have a basic plan, but fifths year has taught us anything it is that we need to hold all things loosely and in order to minimize my own disappointment if any part of our plan falls through I am holding all the things for the next couple of weeks very, very loosely.
There is a podcast I have come to love this year called Pantsuit Politics. It is primarily a politics and current events show, but the two women who host the show intentionally approach the topics from a place of nuance and grace that resonates with me deeply. One of the hosts signs-off each show with the words, “Have the best day available to you.”The realism and honesty in that sentiment have become both a gut check and mantra for me in the past few weeks. There are days when the best available to me is colored by the harshness of this pandemic life and the brutal truths of parenting a teenager living with depression and anxiety, There are days when the best available to me is bolstered by the stars all aligning in a way that allows for everybody in my family being in good spirits. And there are days where the best available to me is somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. But a day is just a day, and one does not necessarily dictate how the next one will play out.
I’ve been trying to view the looming holidays through that lens…striving to have the best holiday season available to me. We know the next two weeks will look nothing like what is traditional for us. We don’t know how we will fill the time and spaces that are wide open in the absence of opportunities to be among family and friends. I am resisting the urge to fill all the empty spaces with plans. I know that having the best holiday available to us this year is not to be found in trying to fill up the hours and days. One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time we will have the best holiday available to us….and I deeply, truly, sincerely hope that includes lots of time for multiple long winter naps for me.
Be well my friends, and give yourselves permission to have find your best holiday available to you.
We're All A Little Broken 