Friday, February 26, 2021…9:34am
The end of week 50. How can that even be true?
On Monday as I was driving my daughter to the horse stables, a song came on the radio that I had not heard before with some lyrics that would come back to haunt my insomniac brain last night. The song is Way Less Sad by AJR, and the lyrics that kept running through my head along with the jumble of people, circumstances, and concerns that were the root cause of my insomnia are…
Well I can’t fall asleep
And I’m losing my mind
Cause it’s half past three
And my brain’s on fire
I been counting sheep
But the sheep all died
And I’m trying too hard
But I can’t not try– AJR
Yup. That about sums it up. My brain is on fire. The sheep might not be dead, but they certainly aren’t around to help in the sleepless hours. And I know that I am trying too hard, but there really isn’t any other option. The song is call “Way Less Sad”, but it might as well be subtitled “COVID insomnia.”
I’ve never been a good sleeper. In fact I’m a bit like the Princess and the Pea. I tend to have trouble falling asleep and sleep lightly once I do doze off. Insomnia has been my nighttime companion on and off for much of the past couple of decades, so I have an arsenal of sleep tricks. Yet none of my tried and true sleep tricks seem to be working lately. Don’t bother with “Have you tried…”, because the answer is, “Yes. I have” and nothing is reliably working for me in this upside down time.
COVID insomnia – or “coronasomnia”- is a thing. Google it if you need a rabbit hole to wander down. The results of my search gave me article after article assuring me that I am not alone in my current sleepless nights – despite the evidence in my own home provided by a snoring husband, snoring dog, and no sounds of life coming from the teenagers’ rooms.
So I am closing out week 50 in a pretty zombie-like state. I am mainlining coffee to get me through the day, and thankful that my blanket warning to my family of “I’m operating on 3 hours of sleep, give me space” seems to have been heard (for now at least). Now if only I can find some not dead sheep tonight…
Be well my friends.